Doublethinking

Remember 1984? You know, that novel we mean old English teachers made you read (or pretend to have read)? Well, it's been on my mind quite a bit lately--especially the issue of doublethink, which, for those who have forgotten, is "the power to hold two completely contradictory beliefs in one's mind simultaneously, and accept both of them." Now, 1984 is a very political novel, and I'm recoiling from the smell of anything remotely political these days--so don't worry, that's not where this is going. No, I'm just fascinated with the degree to which we have all mastered the skill of doublethink.

Here's an example: I am very happy to have several home grown tomatoes in my kitchen right now. I generally don't buy tomatoes at the store--the ones produced by large-scale growers are barely recognizable as tomatoes, to me. However, I also think that all the labor it took to create tomatoes in my garden is bordering on crazy. Hauling water to the greenhouse everday, weeding those suckers, spreading the manure, looking at all those bugs and worms (cause I won't touch em), the electric fence (ok, I did't put it up so I can't complain)...yet we'll probably do it again next year, even though our tomatoes are invariably substandard, and my father in law grows much better and more plentiful ones. That's doublethink.

A more visceral example of doublethink, for me, has to do with Ginny going to school. I'm so excited already by the many things that she's learning, and I know kindergarten is going to be fun for her. And yet the little backpacks and the shelves of notesbooks and pens that are already on display in Walmart are making me want to puke. Moms I know tell me that it doesn't get better, so I guess I'd just better learn to deal with it. Advice on this from some fellow doublethinkers? I'm getting jittery, and there are only 2 months left....